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    The Girlfriends' Cyber Circuit
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    In Which Jezzie Is Part of a Threesome

    JEZEBEL:
    Heya, Avid Fans! Welcome once again to Cat and Muse, the only Internet talk-radio show run by fictional characters. That I know about, anyway. I’m your host, the former demon Jezebel. The producer of Cat and Muse, Melpomene, is still on hiatus visiting her eight sisters. Frankly, I’m glad I’m not there. When the Muse of Tragedy parties, nasty things happen. And coming from the lips of a former demon, you know that’s pretty bad.

    Anyway, first I want to thank all you lovely readers who have emailed my Dear Creator to say such wonderful things about THE ROAD TO HELL. Jackie blushes redder than a monk in a whorehouse whenever she gets such praise, and that titillates me to no end. Keep the kudos coming! Jackie has no shame, and neither do I!

    Second, wahoo for all of you who’ve entered the Hit the ROAD sweepstakes! Jackie’s getting ready to pick the winners on MONDAY, NOVEMBER 19. That’s the day she’s going to email five very lucky people — one gets a 14-karat gold bracelet, three get iPod Shuffles, and one gets an iPod Nano. So check your email on Monday!

    And now, it’s time for our guest. Put the kids to bed, grab yourself a beer, and kick back. This one’s a little different.

    They say that two heads are better than one, and that’s not always talking about sex. Avid Fans, we’ve got a special treat for you: we have not one, but two guests on Cat and Muse! Calling them the heroes of the first book in the Eververse series is sort of like calling a sausage real food: you’re sort of right, but you’re also sort of not sure what the Hell it is you’ve got on your plate.

    Please give a hotter than hot welcome to the devilish protagonists in the Sisters Price Eververse series, stars of SUGAR AND SIN…Feyd and Fallon!

    S&S


    [APPLAUSE]

    Heya, guys!

    FALLON:
    [NODS]

    FEYD:
    [WINKS] Evening, hottie.

    JEZ:

    Ooh. Sweet talk like that will get you everywhere. For our fans out there who are new to the Eververse, tell us what SUGAR AND SIN is about.

    FEYD:
    [TIPS HIS BEER BACK] It ain’t my book, so this isn’t on me. [TO FALLON] Your show, mate. And it better be good, or Asty is going to spank your [BLEEP].

    FALLON:
    [WINKS] I do the spanking in the relationship, mate, as you well know. I ain’t a poncy [BLEEP] like yourself.

    JEZ:
    [GRINS] I’d tell you boys to play nice, but who’m I kidding? Go on, then, Fallon—tell us what the oooh is about the book.

    FALLON:
    Hmmm. Tough to put it all in just one line. It’s hot and dark, a hard-hitting, not your run-of-the-mill love story. It’s a book that gives the bad guys a chance to shine instead of getting pushed to the back of the class, so to speak.

    JEZ:
    Score one for the bad guys.

    FALLON:
    Plus there’s the sex. There’s a lot of ooooh in the sex. Maybe even a little ahhhh

    FEYD:
    Listen to yourself, ya nancy! The ooh and the ahh? What the hell have you been smoking? [POURS A SHOT] I swear, Fal…

    FALLON:
    Yeah, you swear a lot, man. [TAKES FEYD’S SHOT AND DOWNS IT] I block it out after a while.

    FEYD:
    Smarmy [BLEEP]. Get [BLEEP]ed.

    FALLON:
    As often as I can, mate.

    JEZ:
    You fellas are the reason for the seven-second rule, you know. What’s the worst thing about your situation in SUGAR AND SIN?

    FALLON:
    The situation? The whole situation is pretty much [BLEEP]ed up, at the start at least.

    FEYD:
    It ends pretty [BLEEP]ed up too, if you think about it. [POURS TWO SHOTS]

    JEZ:
    Sounds like a win, win, if you ask me.

    FEYD:
    [OFFERS A SHOT TO JEZ, WHO ACCEPTS] Hey, what’s life if it’s not a tad interesting? [EYES JEZ]

    JEZ:
    [BLOWS A KISS TO FEYD] Fallon? What do you say?

    FALLON:
    I guess the worst thing was that we were stuck working for Fallwell, getting kicked around from place to place, doing odd jobs here and there with Georgie babysitting us. It was just an endless list of women and childish [BLEEP] to keep us amused.

    FEYD:
    And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I enjoy the bachelor lifestyle. [DOWNS SHOT] And we are going to need more booze…

    FALLON:
    Nothing wrong at all, but it did get old. Especially living with Georgie peeping over our shoulders all the time. And I’m sure there’s more booze nearby, not that you need it.

    FEYD:
    [BLEEP] needing it, it’s wanting it. And you know I have never been good with temptation…

    JEZ:
    [SMILES] You’re making this much too easy, you know.

    FEYD:
    [WINKS AT JEZ] What else you got for us, sweet tits?

    JEZ:
    Ooh, you flatterer! And you haven’t even seen me strip! What’s the best thing going on for you in SUGAR AND SIN?

    FALLON:
    The best thing has to be meeting up with Astrid again, although I’m sure he’ll say otherwise.

    FEYD:
    [LAUGHS] In-house shagging with no Georgie about. Pissant always [BLEEP] with everything, but with him at the hotel and us at the mansion… well, let’s just say the status quo has been improving. And dare I mention my lovely Ashlyn? Woman is a wonder.

    JEZ:
    Ah, love. Or lust. So tell me, gents: death or debauchery. Which is better?

    FEYD:
    Ah, this is the easy one. I’m not the kinda guy that gets my rocks off killin’ people… that’s Fal there and Cash… hell even Morrison… So I will say debauchery, cuz I do get up to a lot in this book….

    FALLON:
    Today I’m going to vote for the debauchery, though. But you can never really turn your nose up at some good old-fashioned, fun time killing.

    JEZ:
    Favorite position?

    FALLON:
    Doggy, mostly. I never was one for giving anyone too much control during sex, not when I do such a good job of it.

    JEZ:
    I do so love the modest ones…

    FEYD:
    Well, I would have to say, having a lady bent over something firm, and stable…preferable with a full length mirror handy… that way you get all those hard to reach places… [WAGS EYEBROWS AT JEZ] Shall I demonstrate?

    JEZ:
    [WINKS] Well then, cutie, what’s your romantic fantasy? With or without handcuffs?

    FEYD:
    [OPENS MOUTH TO RESPOND, BUT FALLON CUTS HIM OFF]

    FALLON:
    Fantasy? I’ve acted out most of the ones I’ve had. Most recently it involved Asty and a magnum of Dom. Her skin’s perfect to lap the bubbles off, especially when it pools in her belly button.

    JEZ:
    Nice!

    FALLON:
    Of course, I let her take her turn and after we played around with fresh fruit and warm chocolate sauce and fudge. A little whipped cream goes a long way.

    JEZ:
    See, you’re a man who appreciates the fine art of chocolate as foreplay. What about you, Feyd?

    FEYD:
    It’s just wrong. Seriously wrong. I have that dirty schoolgirl fantasy, though Ash wears her hair in pigtails often enough, so I have already acted out the best part of that fantasy. Hmm…Crap, you know what? I had this one I think I might ask Ash about… If it ever comes to fruition, I’ll be sure to give it over.

    JEZ:
    Since Fallon brought it up, which is better: sex or chocolate?

    FALLON:
    Sex always wins, hands down. I only like chocolate if its incorporated into the sex… otherwise, I’m not much of a sweet tooth.

    FEYD:
    Well, I like chocolate, but only to cook with. I make a mean chocolate soufflé. Sex is better, though.

    JEZ:
    You guys have the, heh, unenviable position of having two Dear Creators instead of just one. In SUGAR AND SIN, were there any parts of the story where you were like, Stella, Audra, ladies, what the Hell are you making us do? Or were you and your Creators in sync the entire time?

    FALLON:
    Most of the time they behave, so nothing jumps out at me. They haven’t really done anything that I’d kill them for. Except for maybe the demon and Asty, but I know that was his fault.

    FEYD:
    Yeah, we are the originators, so they are pretty good to us… Not like the Djinn. God, he hates Stella. Calls her the [BLEEP]. It’s horrible. But they have been damn good to us and pretty much let us run the show…

    JEZ:
    Huh. You boys are going to have to teach me how you do that. My own Dear Creator is a prima donna. She has a God complex. [GLARES MEANINGFULLY AT COMPUTER] So, if you had your way, what would you change about SUGAR AND SIN?

    FEYD:
    Eh, its not my book, so I don’t really have a say.

    FALLON:
    The demon. I would have left him out of the whole thing and kept him the hell away from my Astrid. But then it wouldn’t be much of a running series without him so, as I’ve said, he’s a necessary evil. One that I have to put up with.

    JEZ:
    Trust me, I know all about necessary evils. If you could make the Price Sisters do anything, what would it be?

    FALLON:
    [CHUCKLES AND TIPS BACK HIS BEER]

    FEYD:
    [LOOKS DOWN, LOOKS AT FALLON] You really should take this one, mate.

    FALLON:
    [SNORTS, SHAKES HIS HEAD] Not a hope in hell, mate, I’m not touching that one with yours. You don’t mess with two girls that have the power to cripple you in some diving accident or something equally as lame. I like all my limbs and stick-outy parts intact. I know for a fact that Aud has a mean streak and is not afraid to use it. Anything I’d like to get the sisters to do, I’m keeping strictly to myself.

    JEZ:
    Then tell me one thing in the real world that you wish you could change.

    FALLON:
    That we’re not in it.

    FEYD:
    Yeah, that’s a good one. We should be real. Lord, the fun we’d have…

    FALLON:
    That would be good times indeed, we’d have crashed Aud’s wedding. Or just get smashed and live the good life… we’d have to bring aspects of out world over as well though.

    JEZ:
    Imagine SUGAR AND SIN going Hollywood. Who should play each of you in the movie?

    FALLON:
    Hmmmm… I believe that Johnny Depp and I are uncannily alike. He’d play me.

    FEYD:
    And Ed Norton is my damn doppelganger… though to answer the next inevitable question… Cash is that Christian Bale Bloke, and Morrison, he’s apparently Ryan Reynolds… Stella and Audra don’t [BLEEP] around with hot guys, I suppose… or so Ash tells me. Who the hell is Astrid, by the way, Fal? I know Ash is that Liz Hurley chick…

    FALLON:
    In her younger, hotter days, I’ll add. Astrid is the always-beautiful Mia Kirshner.

    JEZ:
    Normally I wind things up by asking if you could be Evil for one day, what would you do? But in your cases, I think I should ask…If you had the chance to be boringly normal for one day, what would you do?

    FEYD:
    See I’m pretty much a good guy… and I think we all are. But it’s what we have chosen to do with our lives that makes us “bad.” So be it. I’m a good person, and I love my mother and the woman in my life. I might have a shady as [BLEEP] job, and I might have accrued my fortune under questionable dealings, but really, who hasn’t?

    JEZ:
    Who, indeed?

    FEYD:
    I mean, we all do things to get ahead, and the world isn’t really black and white. I’m a resident of the grey area. That said, I am pretty normal, but If I had to choose a lifestyle that wasn’t this, more towards what society deems acceptable, I would say I’d be a chef. I’m a damn good cook.

    FALLON:
    Normal? I have no interest in being normal. It wouldn’t suit me. It would drive me crazy. I’d end up being a truck driver so I could pick up hitchhikers and quietly/messily make them disappear.

    JEZ:
    [BURSTS OUT LAUGHING]

    FALLON:
    I do what I do because I have to. I can’t switch off what I am. My job’s just a way of channeling it to a more profitable perspective. [SHRUGS] It’s just the way life works. I have my needs, and sex and death go hand in hand. I guess I’m a product of my upbringing. Though I’m willing to bet [BLEEP] here would be a baker…

    FEYD:
    And you’re the [BLEEP] butcher. You just said so yourself. Would that make Morrison the [BLEEP] candlestick maker?

    FALLON:
    [LAUGHS] I guess, if you’re into that sort of thing. I love your mother, too, by the way.

    FEYD:
    Yeah, Lorna is a wonderful woman, I really don’t mind sharing. [GLANCES AT JEZ] She’s become the adopted parent to pretty much all of them, except for Morrison. His parents are still alive. You should interview him. The damn incubus and you have a lot in common.

    JEZ:
    [GRINS] I know all about the incubi, sweetie. Trust me. And as sure as the Lake of Fire will melt your face, the incubi always think with the wrong head at the wrong time.

    Avid Fans, once again, give a huge round of applause to the infamous heroes of the Sisters Price Eververse series, the stars of SUGAR AND SIN…Feyd and Fallon!

    [APPLAUSE]

    FALLON:
    Good night, love. It’s been a pleasure.

    FEYD:
    Yah, Jez… if you’re ever in Shadow Heights, pop by. I’m sure the girls would LOVE to meet you. [SMIRKS]

    FALLON:
    And I’d pay to see that…

    FEYD:
    [BLEEP], who wouldn’t?

    JEZ:
    On Tuesday nights, my fans pay double to see it down at Spice in New York City. You boys are sweet. [BLOWS KISSES]

    You can buy SUGAR AND SIN at Amazon. That’s it for this installment of Cat and Muse! Until next time…love your inner demon.

    2 Responses to “In Which Jezzie Is Part of a Threesome”

    1. Love this interview! Fallon is my fave Eververse character!!

      by Suzette on November 15th, 2007 at 3:03 pm

    2. An excellent interview! Keep up the great work!

      by Suzanne on November 16th, 2007 at 6:32 pm

     

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