Oh, thank God she’s back, because if I’d have gone another day without Paris Hilton getting some attention from CNN, I would have suffered from DTs. Even better, it’s a twofer: Paris AND Britney Spears in the same headline! According to everyone’s favorite fodder for A Daily Show, Paris says Britney Spears is “a great mother and a great girl.”

Who just sometimes forgets to put on her panties and close her legs when the paparazzi ’s around.

Oopsie, am I being judgmental again? Bad Jackie…

And thank God there’s nothing remotely newsworthy to report. It’s not like we’re in a war, or slipping into an economic recession, or…

Oopsie again…