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    A Cop in Wolf’s Clothing

    JEZEBEL:
    Heya, Avid Fans! Welcome to another episode of Cat and Muse. I’m your host, the former demon Jezebel, coming at you live from the bowels of Jackie Kessler’s website. With me, as always, is the ever-tragic Muse of Tragedy—the producer of Cat and Muse…Melpomene!

    [APPLAUSE]

    Hi, Mel!

    MELPOMENE:
    YO.

    JEZ:
    Hey, can you take the buds out of your ears? You can listen to your iPod after the show. What song snagged your attention, anyway? [GRABS IPOD]

    MEL:
    “THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKIN’.”

    JEZ:
    Ooh, Man 2 Man! And I see you’ve got “Male Stripper” queued up next. I take it you heard about that American Idol finalist previously being a male stripper?

    MEL:
    [GRINS] IT’S RAINING MEN.

    JEZ:
    Hallelujah! Enjoy tonight’s show.

    MEL:
    THE SHOW MUST GO ON.

    JEZ:
    Indeed!

    Our next guest on Cat and Muse pulled an Athena from the mind of author whose work appeared in the New York Times bestselling My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon. And she’s kicking [BLEEP] and taking names. A four-star review of NIGHT LIFE from Romantic Times says: “Life and crime through the eyes of a detective running on grit and nerve give Kittredge’s new urban fantasy thriller a dark and cutting edge.” And Fresh Fiction declares: “This new fantasy series starts off with a bang—briskly-paced, highly sexual and very clever.”

    So boys and girls, let’s have a hot, hot, hot welcome for the star of Caitlin Kittredge’s debut novel NIGHT LIFE, the first book in the Nocturne City series…Luna Wilder!

    NightLife

    [APPLAUSE]

    Heya, Luna!

    LUNA:
    What’s up, Jez?

    JEZ:
    Demonic possession, slaughtered prostitutes, dark magic, alpha werewolves, and pissy police captains with something to prove. My, my. You sure know how to live the interesting life! What do you do for downtime—wrestle alligators?

    LUNA:
    Um, that’s a resounding no. Honestly, I value my private time more than anything.

    JEZ:
    So voyeurism is right out, I take it?

    LUNA:
    I like watching TV and painting my toes and shopping for vintage clothes on eBay…you know, trying to inject a tiny bit of normalcy into my crazy life.

    MEL:
    CRAZY LIKE A FOX.

    JEZ:
    More like a wolf. You’re a detective who’s secretly a werewolf. Which part of your life is more deadly?

    LUNA:
    Well, no were has ever held a gun to my head and threatened to kill me.

    MEL:
    NEVER SAY NEVER.

    JEZ:
    Yeah, what she said. You’re seriously saying that humans are more deadly than werewolves?

    LUNA:
    Well, weres are generally more cranky than humans.

    JEZ:
    Hmm. Well, which is more of a rush—being a babe with a badge, or being a wench who’s a wolf?

    LUNA:
    Definitely the cop half.

    JEZ:
    [SNORTS] Aw, come on.

    LUNA:
    [SHRUGS] Weres don’t get to drive cars or carry service weapons. And my taste buds when I’m shifted simply can’t appreciate the flavor of a doughnut.

    JEZ:
    [BLINKS] You’re [BLEEP] with me, aren’t you?

    LUNA:
    [GRINS] You knew there was going to be a doughnut joke in there somewhere.

    JEZ:
    In NIGHT LIFE, you have to deal with human scum as well as otherworldly evil. Which grates on you more?

    LUNA:
    The humans. They smell way worse, especially with my heightened senses.

    JEZ:
    So it must be Hell on you to be a cop: having to smell all those stale pastries, the bitter coffee…is the smell the worst part of being a cop?

    LUNA:
    [SHAKES HEAD]

    JEZ:
    What is it, then? Pulling a Linda Blair during an autopsy? Being called out for having boobs and therefore being all emotional?

    LUNA:
    The part that gets to me isn’t either of those things, although they both sort of suck.

    JEZ:
    I’d say.

    LUNA:
    It’s seeing the worst of people day, in and day out. Sometimes, it gets really hard to remember that there are good people in the world.

    JEZ:
    Ah, good is boring. What’s the best part of having a monster beneath your skin?

    LUNA:
    There’s TONS that’s good. I’m stronger than normal, I heal fast, I have super-strong sensory receptors.

    JEZ:
    [NODS] Standard supernatural perks.

    LUNA:
    Also, if a date gets grabby, I can flash him my fangs. That ends the night real quick.

    JEZ:
    Heh. Me, I like it when dates get grabby. And I still show them my fangs. Which did you like better: breaking that [BLEEP] cop’s finger in a fit a rage, or hearing him shriek like a girly girl?

    LUNA:
    [GIGGLES] Well, I do like to make men squirm…

    JEZ:
    Isn’t it fun? Okay, let’s talk about family. Your cousin Sunny: a touchy-feely spirit who dresses like a fairy princess, or a no-holds-barred Hermione-wannabe witch?

    LUNA:
    Sunny would like you to THINK she’s some harmless hippie chick, but damn, that girl is meaner than I am when you get on the bad side of her. And she commands her freaky Force powers.

    MEL:
    USE THE FORCE, LUKE.

    LUNA:
    So yeah, I try to stay on her good side.

    JEZ:
    Let’s talk wolves. You’re Insoli, which is Latin for “The Lonely,” give or take. What’s it like, being a werewolf without a pack to run with?

    LUNA:
    It sucks, dude. If I wander into another pack’s territory, their leader could forcibly dominate and bite me, assuming my will isn’t strong enough.

    JEZ:
    You know, I’m dying to make an inappropriate B&D joke here, but you’d probably shoot me, wouldn’t you?

    LUNA:
    [STROKES HER GUN BELT] No one knows where I stand in the pecking order of a pack, so they’re all like, “Grr!”

    JEZ:
    [ARCHES EYEBROW]

    LUNA:
    No, really. Were men communicate by growling even more than normal men do…

    JEZ:
    [SNICKERS]

    LUNA:
    Anyway, it’s a big hassle. But at the same time, women who are in packs are little better than slaves, unless they have a man protecting them.

    JEZ:
    Not your thing, I take it?

    LUNA:
    So not me.

    JEZ:
    During your moonphase—when you go all wolfy—Sunny locks you in a kennel. Does that mean you’re her bitch?

    LUNA:
    Hah. She wishes. The kennel is to keep me away from her, not vice versa.

    JEZ:
    NIGHT LIFE has different types of witches. ’Splain, please.

    LUNA:
    Okay, there are two types of witches: caster witches and blood witches. Caster witches use secondary mediums like wood and iron to focus their magic, while blood witches use their blood.

    JEZ:
    Now there’s a shock.

    LUNA:
    [GRINS] I know. Blood witches are nasty sorts, and they tend to be into things like summoning rituals and black magick, but I’ve met some casters who were just nasty bitches. Casters can pull down more power at once, so don’t piss one off, even if they seem nice.

    JEZ:
    Duly noted. Do the boy witches get all defensive about their roles, like boy nurses?

    LUNA:
    I’ve never met a boy witch who wasn’t an emo freak, so I can’t speak to that one.

    MEL:
    THIS IS THE SONG, LA LA LA LA, ELMO’S SONG.

    JEZ:
    Er, that was emo, not Elmo.

    MEL:
    [BLUSHES] TO ERR IS HUMAN; TO FORGIVE, DIVINE.

    JEZ:
    Yeah, that’s me: the divine Ms. J. Hah. Luna, does magic leave a nasty taste in your mouth, or what?

    LUNA:
    Magic makes my skin crawl…I stay as far away from it as I can. I think it’s an instinctual thing. You have to be born with witch blood and I wasn’t, so it freaks me out a little.

    JEZ:
    Yeah, I hear you. Never trust a witch.

    MEL:
    NEVER SAY NEVER.

    JEZ:
    Mel, you already used that cliché.

    MEL:
    HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF.

    JEZ:
    And so does a Muse without enough sleep. Luna, is your human hair coarser now that you’re a were? How many disposable razors do you go through when you shave your pits? Or are you more European about the whole thing?

    LUNA:
    Gee, Jez, no one’s ever asked me that question before. [LAUGHS]

    JEZ:
    Hey, a host’s got a quota, don’tcha know…

    LUNA:
    The hirsute factor is minimal, unless I’m close to phasing…so no, nothing weird growing in weird places, no need for galloons of Nair. I more have to watch out for my eyes turning yellow or my teeth fanging out. Way more awkward than hairy legs, let me tell you.

    JEZ:
    Dmitri Sandovsky. Grrrrrowl! Describe him in five words.

    LUNA:
    Pain-in-my-ass werewolf.

    JEZ:
    Heh. Describe sex with him in five words.

    LUNA:
    Sweetie, I’d need a lot more than five.

    JEZ:
    Good for you!

    LUNA:
    Suffice to say that advanced stamina that weres get isn’t just for hunting.

    JEZ:
    [GRINS] What about Lieutenant Troy MacAllister? Your boss seems to be a good guy. You ever sleep with him?

    LUNA:
    Oh Hex me, no! That’d be weird. Mac is like my big brother…he’s compassionate and smart and, um, wayyyyy too old for me.

    JEZ:
    That makes him what, thirty? Bless me, what is it with mortals and their age fixation?

    LUNA:
    I know you don’t have my standards, Jez, but really…it’s strictly professional with us.

    JEZ:
    Well then, let’s get unprofessional. What’s your romantic fantasy? Don’t worry, it’s just us girls. You can be as graphic as you want. In fact, I insist.

    LUNA:
    Me, Dmitri, some music on the stereo and a soft bed that we never actually make it to. [WINKS]

    JEZ:
    Heh. What’s better: sex or chocolate?

    LUNA:
    Chocolate. You don’t have to share.

    JEZ:
    [CHUCKLES] True.

    MEL:
    MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH, NOT IN YOUR HANDS.

    JEZ:
    Which could go for more than just chocolate. Tell me about Ghosttown. Real ghosts there, or is that just hype?

    LUNA:
    Oh, there are a lot of scary [BLEEP] in Ghosttown, but ghosts aren’t real, Jez.

    JEZ:
    Of course not.

    LUNA:
    Once you’re dead, you’re dead. Except in a very few specialized cases.

    JEZ:
    Uh huh.

    LUNA:
    If you have the misfortune to end up in Ghosttown, be worried about the things that are still alive, and probably hungry for your flesh.

    JEZ:
    Ooh, sounds like a challenge. Speaking of scary beasties…Demons: good, evil, or something else? And no, I won’t take your answer personally.

    LUNA:
    [PAUSES] A year ago, I would have said “Pure evil,” and probably flailed around a little bit.

    JEZ:
    And now?

    LUNA:
    I’ve met a few, and I’m not so sure. After all, the originally etymology of “demon” was a being who could be either good or evil, and I tend to think it’s a case by case thing, nowadays. Although they have a habit of popping up when you least want them. Or when you’re in the shower.

    JEZ:
    Heh. We’re creatures of timing. You know, before NIGHT LIFE, I thought that “Hex” was a canceled BBC television show.

    LUNA:
    As far as I know, the Hex Riots happened in 1969 and brought weres and witches into the foreground of plain human events.

    JEZ:
    Yikes. Humans don’t tend to react well to the supernatural in their midst.

    LUNA:
    [NODS] We’re still picking up the pieces from that one thirty-odd years later.

    JEZ:
    What’s some of the more colorful uses of the word “hex”?

    LUNA:
    Let’s see…”Hex you,” that’s my favorite. And of course “Hex me,” “Go Hex yourself,” “Get the Hex out of here” and “You’ve got to be Hexing me.”

    JEZ:
    What, no “Hex marks the spot”?

    MEL:
    [GROANS LOUDLY, MIMES SLITTING HER OWN THROAT]

    JEZ:
    Everyone’s a critic. Say, speaking of marking spots, what’s the deal with your Dear Creator and tattoos? You’ve got one on your back. And one of her other creations, Jack Winter in the My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon antho, has tats the way a heroin addict has track marks. [TAPS CHIN] Come to think of it, he has those too. Ooh. Can you tell your Creator that I’m creaming my panties to talk to Jack?

    LUNA:
    Jack? I’m not familiar…he must live in a different canon from me.

    JEZ:
    [SNORTS LAUGHTER]

    LUNA:
    My Dear Creator has more universes in her head than an episode of Sliders, I tell you.

    JEZ:
    So what’s up with your tat? Fashion statement?

    LUNA:
    My tattoo is purely functional. It has silver and herbs in the ink that hold back my phase. I put it on my back so it would be easy to hide. I’m not really into that whole tattooed biker girl thing…

    MEL:
    TO EACH THEIR OWN.

    JEZ:
    Exactly. In NIGHT LIFE, were there any parts of the story where you were like, Caitlin, sweetie, what the Hell are you making me do? Or were you and your Dear Creator in sync the entire time?

    LUNA:
    My creator and I have an understanding. She doesn’t make me do stupid [BLEEP] like run down blind alleys in lingerie, and I won’t kick up a fuss when she does things like get me kidnapped or lured into the lair of a demonic serial killer.

    JEZ:
    Hah!

    LUNA:
    In a weird way, I think she gets me into so many bad situations because she has confidence in me. She knows I can handle it, and I try my best. Although I could do with more shoe shopping and less dead bodies, most days.

    JEZ:
    If you had your way, what would you change about NIGHT LIFE? More shoe shopping?

    LUNA:
    Well, I get beat up a lot. I’d change that—even with fast healing, black eyes are sooo not a lot I’m into. I left that whole Goth thing behind in high school.

    JEZ:
    If NIGHT LIFE went the way of Hollywood, who do you see cast in the main roles?

    LUNA:
    Oh, geez. For Dmitri, it’d have to be that studliest of all Australians, Hugh Jackman.

    JEZ:
    An excellent choice.

    LUNA:
    He’s very tall, like Dmitri, and they have the same snarl. Hair is wrong, though.

    JEZ:
    They can fix that.

    LUNA:
    I’d like to see someone who could kick a bit of ass playing me. Maybe Kate Beckinsale, although she’d have to get some muscles. I don’t look like I’m headed for anorexia rehab, that’s for sure.

    MEL:
    THIN IS IN?

    JEZ:
    Mel, there’s thin, and then there’s “Would someone please feed this girl” thin.

    LUNA:
    For Sunny, totally Maggie Gyllenhaal. That girl’s got a cute smile, but you can see the mischief in her eyes.

    JEZ:
    Absolutely.

    LUNA:
    And Mac would want to be played by Dennis Quaid or someone suave, but really he’s more like Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

    JEZ:
    Finally, if you could be evil for one day, without worrying about the state of your immortal soul, what would you use your infernal powers for?

    LUNA:
    I would probably use my powers to prevent Journey from ever being played on the radio again.

    MEL:
    [GASPS] DON’T STOP BELIEVIN’!

    JEZ:
    Don’t mind Melpomene. She’s been sort of crushing on Steve Perry for a couple decades. So what would you do once you worked your evil wiles on the airwaves?

    LUNA:
    I’d get a huge closet and fill it with fabulous vintage without melting my credit cards, and teleport a few evil ex-boyfriends to an alternate dimension. One with snakes. And cattle prods.

    JEZ:
    Hee. You know, I know some demons who’d be happy to make those fantasies come true, for only a teensy price… Stick around after the show, we’ll hit the bars, ogle the men, and talk shoes.

    Avid Fans, give another round of applause for the star of Caitlin Kittredge’s NIGHT LIFE, Luna Wilder!

    Caitlin

    [No, this isn’t Luna. But this is her Dear Creator, Caitlin Kittredge.]

    [APPLAUSE]

    Today’s release day for NIGHT LIFE, which you can purchase at Amazon, B&N, BookSense, and other fine bookstores near you.

    That’s it for this episode of Cat and Muse. Until next time, remember: love your inner demon!

    2 Responses to “A Cop in Wolf’s Clothing”

    1. […] Kat Richardson,  Jackie Kessler, Good Karma, and Rachel Vincent is giving away a copy of Night Life with some adorable […]


    2. I cannot wait to read it! :mrgreen:

      by Tyhitia on March 6th, 2008 at 12:35 pm

     

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